What is pain? When someone says that they are in pain, what comes to your mind? Most people think about physical pain. But there are several kinds of pain.

It is true that some people are in physical pain. Physical pain can be a formidable adversary. Some can never rise above it. Much less accept it.

But, what are the other types of pain? These pains are adept hunters. These pains stalk you, and slowly take bits and pieces of yourself, of your identity. Some people succumb  to their pain and it becomes their identity.

Physical pains, sigh. Physical pain can come from a number of sources. Injury or illnesses. Brain hiccups such as Parkinson’s, Multiple Sclerosis, Fibroidmyalgia, Lupus, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, the list goes on and on.

Mental pain, we’ve all heard about that. Depression and PTSD are some of the most common. These pains run deep. Mental pain can come from abuse, neglect, abandonment, bullying, loneliness, sexual assault, and this list goes on and on.

Spiritual pain,a pain that most people don’t even know that they are in spiritual pain. But so many people are. Spiritual pain manifests in feelings of being lost, without purpose, broken, unwanted, not needed, and this list goes on and on.

Every one of these pains can be accepted by you and you can move forward. Some pains can even be healed. What? Yep,they can all be managed. So how do we do that, simple, radically accept it and find your balance. 

Some physical pains that are caused by age or injury are, in some people’s minds not curable and only relieved by painkillers. Let me toss a theory onto the table. Healing energy or physical pain. Did that cause you to scoff at the idea? Well, there are some people who have been cured of their physical pains by people who have been given the gift to do so. People such as Charlie Goldsmith. This man has used his healing abilities to help people all over the world. He has proven results in people of all ages. He isn’t the only person with these abilities. And yet, some people will not even try to explore this. It reminds me of trying to get a child to eat vegetables. So we choose to suffer.

Mental pain is, to me the anguish. Mental pain can rob you of everything. It makes you a prisoner of your mind which in turn affects your body. Mental pain can cause suicide. It can make you feel like there is no end. It will never get better, but I does get better. However, in that moment, you can’t see that. You’re numb.

Spiritual pain is the ultimate sacrifice we’ve made. Spiritual pain is that feeling like you are not whole. You are literally alone. You are so far from the greatest love that you cannot see light. It is that emptiness that is never filled. Nothing you do gives you relief. Some people do not care for themselves, much less have someone to care about them. That pain is…relentless. And can cause the prison of shame.

Now that I’ve given you a glimpse of these maladies, how do you handle them. I previously mentioned “Radical Acceptance.” What exactly is that? Radical acceptance is accepting your pain, your maladies. Most of our pain comes from the brain. It is a neurological malfunction. Most of the time it is caused by trauma. Trauma from sexual assault, sexual abuse, physical abuse, verbal abuse, witnessing or experiencing traumatic events etc. These things can cause your brain to react in a way to try and protect the body. What it actually does is cause the body pain. There isn’t a medication that can heal that pain. Some medications can alleviate the pain to a degree, but cannot cure it.

Accepting your trauma, seeking mental health experts to help you navigate your trauma, and understanding that it is a part of you. You would not be the survivor that you are without experiencing this trauma. It does not “heal” your brain, but it does help you understand why. There are so many people who have accepted where they are, and find the courage to function and have a life. To live, not survive. Life is not fair. But this is your life, how do you want to live it?

Indulge me for a moment, I know a woman who has made her pain her identity. She wields her pain like a weapon. It’s used to gain her sympathy, and for people to do things for her. She feels as though because she has pain the world owes her. Any conversation you have with her, she talks about her maladies, how it hurts, ho much medication she takes, etc. Do you know someone like that?

Then there is another woman that has pain every moment of every day. The pain radiates through her body, her brain screams in pain. And yet, she lives. Yes, there are days when she’s a little more withdrawn. But she lives, she chooses to seek unconventional methods to help her cope. Her malady is not her identity. When you speak to her she talks about everything but her ailments. She’s radically accepted that this is her normal and rises above it. 

What makes these 2 women so different? Well, there are a lot of factors, their background, their will to live, and that fact that one person has actively worked on accepting. Seeking out what is needed to facilitate a healthy life. Most importantly, she has broken the chains of shame. Let’s be real here, people don’t seek out the spiritual cup they need because of shame. They don’t seek out the mental health care they need because of shame.

Please allow my one last indulgence, here is a broad stroke of my pain. I have several physical maladies that cause constant pain. My entire body feels like I smashed it with a hammer. I’m on antidepressants to help with my PTSD, I have medications that help to alleviate some pain, but it does not remove it. I have some natural remedies I use to also help me to move and live. I’ve witnessed war, been verbally abused, sexually assaulted more than once, molested, bullied, shamed, and physically assaulted. I’ve even attempted suicide. People who know about all of this ask me, how do you move? How do I live? How can you love so freely? My answer is always the same. Because I choose to. I choose to accept that I would not be the person I am without living through what I have. I reminds me that there is good in the world. I firmly believe that if I hadn’t experienced these traumas, then I wouldn’t be the person that I am today.

What is your pain? Where did it come from? How are you dealing with it? Is it your identity? Can you still see the wonder and beauty in the world? What is stopping you from exploring all options to help you? Love yourself and accept yourself for the beautiful person you are. Rise above and live.


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